“Who Am I?” is a question that troubles my tiny mind from time to time. I was recently trying to explain what I mean to a friend, telling him that there seem to be several versions of “me” depending on what I’m thinking about. There’s the me I’d like to be; the me I think I might be; the me others perceive; the me I’d like others to percieve; the me I think others might actaully perceive… and so on.
Context makes a big difference, too: there’s me at home, me at work, me at church, me in court, me online, me when I’m on my own - all quite different people in some respects. I’m sure there must be many other ‘me’s that don’t come to mind right now.
The question, then, that I find myself pondering is this: where, in all this, is the “Real Me”? Is there such a thing? Are they all the Real Me? I’ve mentioned elsewhere that I often feel I don’t ‘fit in’. Is that because I’m being the wrong me? Or because I’ve lost track of who I really am - if I ever knew.
I do recall this subject coming up around the dinner table with friends once, and I thought it was interesting that Rachael seemed not to have any of these questions. Rachael is Rachael and remains so regardless of context. At the time we concluded that this might be a male/female difference, but I’ve since spoken to a couple of people who would disagree. Yes, some girls have thoughts like these, too.
The friend I was corresponding with recently came out with this:
It seems that at some time the brain (human) suddenly expanded and the two lobes had problems connecting all the different functions. One seems to act like a telescope whilst the other is a microscope. Great from a species point of view, (especially a tribal one), where the different views can give us finally a good answer, however, for some poor individuals the effect is confusion and a destabalising inability to focus.
Hence who am I and to whom?
The internal communication can sometimes be like a aural conversation… some people hear voices….
[Some people] soak up info excellently and don’t suffer the destabalising influence of the two halves trying to make a decision with a multiplicity of views.
I think you have a fiesta in your head as to conversations but just enjoy the party spirit, whilst I (at times) slump in the corner and try to focus on one poor guest instead of enjoying the general atmosphere.
(Edited slightly to remove personal stuff)
I like that. There’s a party in my head and everyone’s invited!
Blogger.com vs WordPress.com
20 06 2008It’s been a few weeks now since I transferred this blog here to WordPress.com from its former home of Blogger.com. So what’s the difference?
Well, overall, I’m preferring it here at WordPress. The interface is somehow neater, and I like the very much greater control over the comments system. And the built-in stats are very useful. I was impressed by the way WordPress managed to import all my posts and comments from Blogger when I made the switch, too. I’ve a feeling that wouldn’t have been possible the other way around.
But there are a couple of things I do miss from Blogger…
WordPress.com doesn’t allow you to use javascript in the sidebar. Now, I wouldn’t have known that Blogger did allow that, but when I went to use a couple of bits of third-party code I’d used fine over there I found they wouldn’t work over here. Hey, I didn’t even know they were Javascript, so it took me a while to discover why they woudn’t work in WordPress. (And I still don’t understand why WordPress doesn’t allow them. They didn’t seem to cause any problem over at Blogger.)
The other thing I liked at blogger was the option to display your archive in a hierarchical structure, which isn’t available over here. (You can see what I mean on my family blog, Which Way’s Up, which is still at blogger.)
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