Verbal Creativity

Collected Haikus from (I think) early 2015-ish

Previously published on Facebook and/or Twitter. Some were replies to things, so the context is lost. Thus mystery is added.

Collected here so I don’t lose track of them. (Though they may be best lost track of.)

I tried a Haiku
I’d not written one before
it turned out rubbish.

Maxine says it’s good
but does she not realise
just how poor it is?

Does a haiku fit
in one hundred and forty
characters? It does.

A thought crossed my mind
to write Haiku business plan.
Tutors won’t approve.

Business plan writing?
Photoshop tutorials?
Deadline on just one.

The art of avoiding work
by writing haikus.

Ben’s ceramic art
Inspires mind and soul alike;
Geometric bliss

I had a heart attack
a misunderstood deadline
so I passed it on.

Status was not planned
to follow haiku format.
Try harder next time.

I stay up too late
when at last I aim for bed
I find I’m hungry.

Had a banana
Snuck quietly into bed
Woke raring to go.

Business plan is in
two modules yet to complete
then degree is done

A book of haikus. 
Sixty-seven, bound as one. 
A brotherly gift.

My bed is upstairs.
I, conversely, am downstairs. 
I need to change this.

Too long for haiku.

Haiku syllables:
Five, seven, five. Then no more.
Unless you bend the rules.

And now I have learned
that five-seven-five is wrong
unless Japanese.

I enjoyed writing these. Why did I stop?


How my brain works

I’m doing a Christmas Fayre tomorrow. I may have mentioned it. Selling prints and cards of some of my LEGO™ photographs.

About two weeks ago, it occurred to me I should organise a float. You know, so I can give people change.

About a week ago, I remembered that I needed to organise a float.

Two days ago, I remembered that I needed to organise a float.

Yesterday, I remembered that I needed to organise a float.

This evening at about ten o’clock, I checked an email to see what time I need to be there. The email answered my question (9:30, as it happens).  But importantly, the email also mentions something else: I need to organise my own float.

And that’s how my brain works.

Anyway, come along. Even I struggle to give you change there’s plenty else to enjoy.



Artificial Intelligence?

applechatHad a productive ‘chat’ with Apple Support today. But tell me this: Does “Keidra” sound like a computer that’s been programmed to sound human, or a human that’s been trained to sound like a computer?

Here’s the transcript…


Thanks for contacting iOS. My name is Keidra. How can I help you?


Hi there.

Just wanted to check if my iPhone 6S is one affected by the battery replacement programme. 


Just to make sure we’re on the same page you would like to know if your iPhone 6s is eligible for the battery replacement program, correct?


Exactly that. The serial number is: XXXXXXX (Redacted for security)


I know if my iPhone was on a recall list I would be checking into this also. I’ll do all I can to resolve this for you today.


I would like to confirm the version of iOS on the device. Go to Settings > General > About and tell me what it shows for Version. I want to make sure your account is up to date.


10.2 (14C5077b)


Thank you! I’m showing that your iPhone maybe eligible for battery replacement. Would like to know your service options?




Sure thing! May I know what country are you located in?




You’re service options are take the device to an Apple Authorized Service Provider or schedule an appointment with an Apple Retail Store. The battery cannot be replaced until after December 5, 2016.


There’s an Authorised Service provider in a nearby town – closer than any Apple Store, so I’ll give them a call. Thanks for mentioning the date – didn’t know it hadn’t started yet. 


You’re more than welcome! Is it OK if I send you an email with some articles on what to do before you take your iPhone in for repair?


Think I’ve found all that online already. Back up, disable Find my iPhone. 

But do feel free in case I’ve missed anything. ;o)


Great! Overall, how do you feel about our chat today, have I addressed all of your concerns? Are you satisfied with the support I provided today? I want to make sure I’ve answered all of your questions before we finish up!


I had one question, and it’s been answered perfectly. So very satisfied. 


Perfect! You enjoy the rest of your day and your Family Sharing! Again my name is Keidra. If you ever need help, AppleCare chat is here 24/7. Feel free to chat us anytime. You can also use Twitter as a way to contact us! Tweet @AppleSupport for help answering your questions.




Not a problem, Trevor! If you have no other questions or concerns please feel free to click the “End Chat” button or simply close the internet browser window. If you prefer you can also say “OK” to confirm it is fine for me to end this chat session. Have a wonderful rest of your day.


So close

Having a drum kit in the bedroom almost makes this worthy of a portfolio shot.


Except the kit isn’t set up correctly.

(Currently ploughing through 23,000 or so property photographs to update my portfolio on my website. I really should bookmark them as I go along.)

Not quite an exhibition.

Tenth of December sees the return of the very popular Christmas Fayre at Bunyan Baptist Church in Stevenage Old Town (known for its Live nativity scene including real donkeys).

Entrance is free, and as an added bonus this year I’ll have a stall selling prints of some of my LEGO® photographs and my range of Christmas cards.


Come along!

Greenbelt 2016. My Mainstage debut.

Ah, Greenbelt, how I do love thee. I never did write about last year’s festival, so figured I should get something down about this one before the time slips away again. Let’s just say Greenbelt 2016 was a fabulous one. Something in the air. Something special. So impossible to define.

For me…

This was a great year for music. There’s never much I’ve heard of on the bill, other than from previous Greenbelts. The festival just doesn’t have the budget for big names, but you know what? That’s no bad thing. It means you never know what you’re going to come across. And this year there were a few bands I came away wanting to hear more of…

The Eskies did a late-night slot in the Canopy stage and were just amazing. I’m utterly rubbish at describing or defining music by genre, so here’s how greenbelt described them:

Purveyors of music that meanders from sea soaked waltz to Italian tarantella, from Brassy funeral march-esque lament to weep along Klezmar knees up, from chain gang holler to rag time finger snap. Skipping through the dark side of anything that makes you want to dance, steeped in melodrama and usually with not a small amount of tongue in cheek.

A wee listen on Spotify beforehand confirmed I’d want to catch them and boy am I glad I did. Such a great sound, such a great drummer (inspiring me to try new things at the kit) and such a great rapport with the crowd. Find them on Spotify and listen to the album. It’s good. So good. If you pay attention the the lyrics and wonder what they were doing at Greenbelt, don’t worry – they wondered the same; when they heard that Greenbelt wanted to book them they said “Are you sure!?” Such a fabulous mix of instrumentation and rhythm it gets me buzzing, every track.

Ella and the Blisters were my next highlight. Like last year, they took an ‘after hours’ slot on Mainstage (now technically called the Glade Stage) and what a fab band they are. Just like having a party up there on the stage. Have since heard that they’ve sadly decided to call it a day, so I’m glad I got to see them twice while they were a thing.

Tankus the Henge. Oh boy. What A Band. Stupid name: far from stupid band. I’ll let Greenbelt describe them again:

Six sharply dressed gents from London Town armed with urban tales or woe and wonder to take you on an eclectic musical journey. Their style draws from a multitudinous array of styles including; rock, blues, gypsy punk and funk.

Whatever that means, I’d simply say they were rapturously, raucously, delightful. I bought the album afterwards which has been, along with the Eskies, pretty much on constant play in the car as I go about my business. Every track is a triumph. (I’ve found one review of the album which describes every track as the stand-out song of the album.) Seriously, go listen. Spotify them up, right now. And then go out and buy the album.

I’ve come to realise over recent years that there are a couple of things that bands I enjoy tend to have in common. First up – they’ve got to look like they are having a great time. If they’re having fun, then so are the crowd. Second – just about all my favourites seem to feature a brass section, or at very least a trumpet. And if there are other instruments in there too, all the better. All three of these bands fit the bill in abundance.

But talking of bands with lots of musicians, there’s no doubt another highlight for me has to be Hope and Social; not just because I love the band, but because this time I got to join them up on stage. Man I love Hope and Social. Their sound, their passions, their projects. They’re a band who get involved, and involve people. And this year for Greenbelt they were invited to bring their “Band Anyone Can Join” project, and to close the festival with it as the headline act on Mainstage on Monday evening.  Before the festival they invited applications for anyone to join, and about eighty of us did so: a cluster of guitarists; a mini orchestra section; a choir; and a collection of drummers on Djembes and the like. Except when I sent my application in, I happened to mention that I had a twenty-year dream “to play drums on Greenbelt Mainstage”. Well, what do you know? They only went and let me! The penultimate song of the entire Mainstage line-up of the festival, I was the drummer. Man, what a buzz. Biggest crowd I’ve played in front of by some considerable margin, and as part of an amazing band. Thanks guys. I loved it, and I love you.

Someone in the crowd captured my Mainstage debut and is happy for me to share this.
Thanks John! 

Dang, this is far too long, so I’ll leave it there. That’s just the music highlights for me. There was more; perfoming arts stuff, odds and ends, heck even some God stuff. They’ll have to wait for another post. Or two.


My previous years write-ups:
2012 (My first after a 16-year gap)