A letter from the taxman…

Dear Mr Coultart

Oh, hello there. How nice to hear from you.

I refer to your call to the contact centre on 11 August 2011.

Thanks. Tell me more.

I have reviewed the 2009-2010 tax years information held on our records.

Okay…

Um, I didn’t actually ask you anything about 2009-2010, but thanks anyway. Seeing as you’ve mentioned it, though… This ‘review’: what did you find?

Oh, I see, you’re not going to tell me any more about that.

Do go on.

A repayment is due to you for the 2010-2011 tax year and this will follow shortly together with a copy of the calculations.

Well, that’s a result. I’ll look forward to hearing more. Shortly. (I wonder how long ‘shortly’ is?)  I made it £33.43 when I did my calculations. I wonder if your result is similar?

You state that you have submitted a letter to HMRC regarding your redundancy payment.

Please provide a copy of the letter as to date I am unable to locate your original letter.

Ah. I see. So you are unable to locate my original letter. I presume you mean the one dated 19 May 2011. The one I originally phoned about.

But what about the copy I sent on 12 August?

The one I sent Recorded Delivery?

The one that Royal Mail tell me was delivered on 15 August 2011?

That was signed for by D Butler at 8:08am?

And, hang on a minute…

If you’ve not had that letter, how the heck have you done your calculations about the tax year?

Yours sincerely…

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

I’ll phone tomorrow…


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