Is belief a choice?

Sometimes when I’m wondering about my faith, I try to tell myself that I can just choose to believe. But can I? Do one’s beliefs exist independently of one’s thoughts?

How about the other way around? From where I stand now, I guess it ought to be possible to choose not to believe. But I wouldn’t say I’ve made that choice. My current lack of belief seems to be something that has simply happened to me. Perhaps the same could be said of my beliefs in the first place.

A couple of weeks ago someone was talking about spiritual gifts, and mentioned, from one of the biblical lists, the “gift of faith”. Aha! I thought. That’s what I’m lacking! I spoke briefly to my minister afterwards (it was not him who had been preaching that morning) and he dissuaded me from that train of thought; the “gift of faith” in that context is, apparently, faith to get through or deal with a specific time, rather than the more general faith that I feel I’m struggling with.  

So, can I choose to believe? I don’t know. I could try, but I don’t want to feel I’m deceiving myself. Should I nail my colours to the mast and choose not believe?

Nah. Not just yet, anyway. 

World Geography Ignorance

At church on Sunday we were all given an outline world map, and asked to write or draw in certain things. Instructions like “shade the area where there’s been a big earthquake recently”; “name three south American capitals”; “draw dolphins in the Indian ocean” and the like came up on the screen. Some were connected with missionary families we support (“draw a MAF plane taking off from Uganda”; “draw Dr Ruth in her clinic in Tabora”), but most were simply world geography. I was shocked at how bad I was at it. Some countries came up and I couldn’t even have a guess at which continent, let alone the location within a continent.

Fancy a go to see how badly you do? Well, I can’t give you exactly the same questions, but my wife found this online quiz which simply asks you to pinpoint counties. It’s frustrating because it doesn’t give you the right answers when you get it wrong, but it sure is an eye-opener.

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Note: If you’ve come here looking for a blank world map, I’m afraid I’ve removed it. I was getting so many visitors who came in search of the map that it was distorting my stats. Sorry to disappoint, but there are plenty more maps out there.

An achievement?

The interview was nerve-wracking. Very formal: a large conference table; three interviewers.  The aptitude test was a more relaxed affair: a small room with one tester; measuring, drawing, interpreting plans. I quite enjoyed it. And then came the letter: a formal offer of employment in Her Majesty’s Land Registry. 

 

And so it was that on 23rd May 1988 I entered the building as a civil servant for the first time.

 

23rd May 1988.

 

Twenty bloody years.

 

Sigh…

The Royal Mail

I wanted to send something to Royal Mail, so I looked on their website for a postal address. Under “contact us”, what do you think I could find? Lots of phone numbers, and lots of email addresses. But do you know what? I couldn’t find a postal address anywhere.

No postal address. For the Royal Mail.

Doesn’t that seem a bit odd?

Failure

Well, the audition didn’t go well, and I didn’t get the part (Lieutenant Danny Gilmartin, in case you were wondering). Neither did the other guy who auditioned tonight – and we were following four others who’d already auditioned. Are they being a bit fussy, I wonder?

Still, not too bothered because the rehearsal schedule might have proved a bit much for the next few months. I will do another show one day. When is anybody’s guess.

A new home

The more observant of you may have noticed that this blog has moved. Thought I’d give WordPress a try. Still not got the template quite how I want it, and don’t understand a few things yet (what’s the difference between a category and a tag? On blogger I just had “labels”) but it’s good enough to go live, so here it is.

Showtime?

To audition or not to audition; that is the question.

No, not Shakespeare; Hitchin Thespians are putting on a production of Calamity Jane and I had missed the original audition date so thought I’d be extending my break for another year. (My last show with them was Thoroughly Modern Millie last spring, just before my son was born.)

But on Friday I happened to bump into the production secretary who told me there was a principal part still not cast for which I might be well suited, and there are auditions on Wednesday night. Sounds like there will be two of us auditioning…

A bigger picture

A change is afoot. Frustrated with myself for the infrequency of my posting here, I’ve decided to widen the scope of this blog. From now on it will no longer be solely focused on my spiritual life (or lack thereof) but will be an open book for anything an everything I fancy wittering on about. I hope that thoughts of God will still crop up. If they don’t then I guess that might say something about where I’m at.

For now, all I’m going to do is invite you to take a look at the photos from our recent trip to the Lake District by clicking here. Or, if you prefer, here. It’s entirely up to you.